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Writer's pictureAbi Copley

What is the ellusive Modern Woman made of?


Well, there's a loaded question.


Once upon a time, women were considered inferior to men. We were seen as weak, unable and unaccepted in the workplace. Being a woman was a punishment in the eyes of some. While, for many, our state is much improved in today's world, do we really have it much easier?


At it's core, is womanhood still fraught with the remnant tensions and barriers it once was? Is it actually worse, because now those problems are bathed in the seeming glow of political correctness and acceptance? "Here ladies, have the world. But don't forget, there's always a hidden cost for you.'


So what are we supposed to be?


In doing lots of research for this post, there are definite trends in opinion of what constitutes a 'modern' woman!


The 'Modern' woman is successful.

She is in charge and commanding. Yes, there are now hugely powerful woman in the world. The Forbes 100 list features amazing women from the fields of politics, philanthropy, technology, and finance ( I was surprised to see Beyonce Knowles feature higher than Hilary Clinton though). But still, in 2018, the UK government found that 74% of companies pay the male staff a higher wage. While the Gender Pay Gap isn't the same as Pay Inequality, it still shows that there is a huge unbalance in the world of work for women.


The 'Modern' woman is beautiful in her own way and confident in her own skin.

Oh, if that were only true. To those out there who feel like this, go you! To the rest of us who are completely bombarded with media telling us the total opposite, I hear ya! Why in this day and age, are we still having the same conversation about the projection of body image in the media and society in general. In 2010, Dove released the findings from their 'Truth about beauty: revisited' study and the results are so sad. They reported only 4% of women considered themselves to be beautiful. The UK and Australia drew even at when only 20% of women said they had high levels of self-esteem; in Japan, it was 8%! If we as grown women don't project body confidence, how is the next generation going to survive...I mean the 'ab crack'. How is that even a 'thing'?


The 'modern' woman is a social butterfly.

So, on top of being powerful and beautiful we are also expected to the life and soul of every occasion and be surrounded by equally perfect examples of 'modern womanness'. It's a hard lesson in life to learn that your relationships aren't going to be your own version of 'Friends'. It is true though, having friends has a hugely positive impact on many areas of your life BUT...only if they are people who add to your life; not drain it out of you. A wise person once said to me that you have to accept people for who they are, not what you expect of them. Do that, and you will be onto a winner.


The 'modern' woman is Super-mum.

Every generation of mum has had their challenges; but for Today's mum, there's a whole heap of ways we can physiologically bash ourselves. Between pressure to 'snap back' to pre-baby weight or financial and work-place pressures affecting maternity leave, sometimes we can't do wrong for doing right. Never mind the world and his wife having an opinion on how you feed and raise YOUR baby! For every person telling you are doing the fight thing, there will be someone who tells you otherwise. I could go on forever about how the perspective of a 'modern mum' is fundamentally terrifying and damaging but you get the idea!


The 'modern' women is independent.

Independent with a capital I! The 'modern' woman doesn't need a man, basically, is what my reading told me. In the battle of the sexes women have pushed so much against male oppression that now, for some, men are the enemy; or, at least, not to be trusted. Women's independence is a great thing, don't get me wrong, but we for sure aren't islands. Samantha Brett investigated the impact of women's independence on our relationships and found that men are becoming lost; they need to feel needed, not financially but emotionally. They must be a way to balance out what both sides need.


This all sounds like I'm very down and out about the state of 'modern' woman and, in a way, I am!


I speak with so many of my friends about the pressures we all feel and so much of it stems from what is expected of us.


Yes, I agree that women are powerful, amazing creatures...I am one and I'm damn proud of what I and my fellow sex achieve. But this is in spite of, not because of, what society says I am to be.


A 'modern' woman should be free.




Free to be who she is; however she looks, feels, loves and free to live the way she chooses, whatever path that takes her down.


Free to choose what defines her.

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