So, does this sounds familiar?
It's 8.30pm on a wet, windy night and my son is just going to sleep (finally). The dishes are pilled high in the sink. The clean washing is spilling out onto the floor, threatening to wind its way back to the dirty pile, and it looks like Hamley's has thrown up on my living room floor. Then there's the packed lunches, the clothes for tomorrow and all the paperwork and preparation for another busy day in the classroom to do.
What I really want to do is to grab a cup of tea, settle into a cosy spot and write until all the ideas I've been mulling over pour out and form exciting new characters, thoughtful monologues and weave into inspirational endings.
What I want to do and what I actually do remains to be seen, as I stew it over with you. Is it selfish of me to be resentful of real-life, pulling me back when I'm ready for a mini-escape?
It isn't even because I'm a parent. Although God only knows what I did with my time before he came along, because I always felt pushed for time then too. The cliche is unavoidable, life is so busy that we don't have time to stop and smell the roses. I guess it's like money, you always live to the brim of what you have and never feel you have enough; I do anyway.
Cliches aside, how do you unlock the time to do the things you love? Not only love, but the things that make you who you are? How do you stop the relentless cycle of work, home, and sleep? Can we stop it or do we just have to accept it?
I don't want to!
My husband always says that we work to live, not the other way around. Obviously there's things that we cannot change (the 'mustard must-dos' as my class would say) but if we aren't 'living' the way we want, and we have the power to change it, what's the point?
I'm a huge believer in the importance of self-care and I do try to practice what I preach. I've struggled, and still struggle with carving out this time and I'm sure I'm not alone. In fact, I feel like I think about this so often, I've probably written about it all before! Regardless, you can never have enough support! So, here a a few things I've tried:
1/ Set a goal and write it down- Once your goal (self-care in this case) is written somewhere, research* has shown that you are 42% more likely to achieve it.
2/ Plan for it & make time for it- I honestly get up at 5.30 am to squeeze in some yoga before the day storms ahead (anyone who knows me will appreciate what a miracle that is)! Doing so only gives me maybe half-an-hour to myself, but at least it's something. Set a reminder on your phone, plug it into Google Calendar, write it in your diary. Treat it like any other important part of your day.
3/ Stick at it- Someone once told me that it takes twenty-one days to form a habit. The trouble is, if you're like me, you've already got a solid habit going...the habit of not making time for yourself, and that's been going for a lot longer than twenty-one days! So how do you change the habit of a life-time?
4/ Make a little change- A quote from the extremely wise Emma Watson struck me over the weekend and it's stayed with me as I mused on this habit hurdle! She said, in her HeForShe speech at the United Nations in 2014, 'Don't expect change to happen overnight. Even if it's not always visible, it's making more impact than you think.'* Her words that are the perfect mantra to hold to during our valiant efforts to make our lives work for us.
Even small steps can take you a long way.
p.s. want to give it a try but not sure what your self-care style is? Head over to my guest post at Liked By Becky and check out my handy infographic. Click here to go there now.
*19, 4 2016, M.Morrissey, https://www.huffingtonpost.com/marymorrissey/the-power-of-writing-down_b_12002348.html
*Emma Watson quoted from Australian Vogue, March 2018 edition.